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Friday, February 27, 2009

i guess it isn't so bad afterall. i am happy with the way things are now:) i think. and i hope things remain this way. and sometimes maybe the best thing to do is stay out of it.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
7:18 pm

Thursday, February 26, 2009

at the end of the day, we're all alone.

why does everyone want to achieve everything else but great and magical love in this life?
i want to achieve it, this life.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
1:05 am

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

hahaha this is something random. i was napping when eugene called and said something like this when i told him i was napping:
i don't care you better get the fuck up and jump 3 times now!

you're the only friend who will say this to me. it's quite amusing really.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
3:31 am

Sunday, February 22, 2009

i can't seem to get to sleep or even feel like sleeping although i know my body is tired. and i don't even know what the hell i am doing here i feel so lame. is this like insomnia? maybe i'm afraid of dreaming about stuff that makes me panicky or sad. and all the weird things going around me are just...i don't know. i'm so tired. quite tired of life actually. and sick of a particular counterpart of the human race. and when you're just feeling weird and down, you remember the people who said that they'll always be there for you.

i need a vacation to somewhere peaceful and away from here. let's take a train. no not mrt.

i think i need to watch He's Just Not That Into You to remind myself some things.

*edit at 3:36pm
wow i really dreamt of sad stuff. i was dying and i was crying in my dream and after reading cherie's entry i feel like crying again. because the very first para was what i was feeling literally in the dream. the bad things didn't just fade away when i was dying it just remained there to torture the very last bit of me.

and i remember what i learnt from psyc last sem was that you only dream of stuff that you don't usually think about. it's like subconsciously. so like i must have been pushing such thoughts to the back of my mind in the day only to get haunted by them at night. good job.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
2:49 am

Saturday, February 21, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You is a very feel-good movie. i loved it :) and i think it touches girls especially. and not every character had the perfect ending which was what makes it different from most chick flicks. if you have time, go catch it! i don't mind watching it again. the last line was so inspirational.


Labels:

love you like a sister;
2:29 pm

Thursday, February 19, 2009

some days i wish i could just hang out late doing something i like or just walking around new places to explore until the world just blacks out on me. and maybe i can have some true peace for that amount of time i actually black out.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
1:27 pm

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

i've found the closure that i wanted and needed. although it's not in a good way, it helped me see things clearly. i've tried my best and i know i won't have to look back on all the what ifs.

singaporeans know the price of everything but the value of nothing.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
5:39 pm

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

i dreamt of you. in my dream i was crying and you just sat there.
and i will never understand. not now, not ever.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
1:38 pm

Monday, February 16, 2009

i understand totally. it's not a good thing that i actually do. in fact, i feel your pain. i've just heard more stories of such until it's to the point where i think it's just so stupid. i'll tell you another day.

the whole thing just becomes a joke and you're the only one taking it seriously. and i know i'll take it as a joke until i find the point where it's supposed to be serious. i think it's a xi fatt loongs'thing. so you know you shouldn't see it too seriously too. don't ever see it seriously. that way you won't get disappointed. and because i've decided not to see it so seriously, i'm more willing to take risks. and sometimes, risks may turn out to be something good :) and that's what i believe in now. taking things seriously in that aspect is just way too tiring. don't put in everything unless you're very sure that the other person is willing to put in everything as well. and i mean everything, to make things right. i don't believe in having any perfect combination kind of thing? it's just how much you want things to be right and how much you're willing to fix things when it goes wrong. it's a good gauge.

haha and johnny said, "phong is not amnesic, she doesn't forget things easily."

i just count the reasons that keep me happy and today i have one :)

Labels:

love you like a sister;
10:30 pm

my heart totally sank. what should i do? suddenly i feel immense pressure that i've never experienced before. i'm just cracking. but i know i musn't let myself crack.




everything was just a lie right till the end and even after that. every single freaking thing. i was living in a lie. and after all that fucking shit, you can't even give me a bare minimal sincere apology. what kind of monster or beast are you?

Labels:

love you like a sister;
12:24 am

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

omg this is so sweet and inspirational from wc haha. thanks girl (:

Labels:

love you like a sister;
7:40 pm

Saturday, February 14, 2009

feel the love, spread the love! and spread the love for ramly too. haha.

we'll find someone to love with our lives in their hands <3

Labels:

love you like a sister;
3:46 pm

Thursday, February 12, 2009

hopefully, one day you'll learn.

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love you like a sister;
2:58 am

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

haha for the first time in my life, i felt like my prayers were answered even though the prayers were addressed to the unknown forces which we do not yet know. i was so low thinking about my accounting mid-term but now i just feel so relieved and happy cos i really thought i screwed it up big time.

today is a good day afterall :D

oh and wq today i made friends with the guy you thought was cute from my school. i shall try to introduce him to you soon if there's fate!

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love you like a sister;
5:42 pm

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"If you have it (love), you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you do have. "
- Peter Pan author Sir James M. Barrie

interesting point of view. i came across this in some ntuc FREE magazine that claudine asked me to read. she asked me to read this particular story about this lady who got struck by lightning. very sweet and touching but kind of scary.

at this rate i'm going, i need a shrink. i just don't know how much longer i can hold out. everything is just crashing in on me at one go. life hates me.

whatever i do, i'll just never be good enough for anybody.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
12:47 pm

Monday, February 09, 2009

"Fall like a meteor from the skies. My heart is a comet. My heart is a burning rock. And I come crashing, alien, into your beautiful round world. Brilliant, fading, all at the same time. After a while when the magic is lost, I lay here motionless, stagnant, burnt out, used up, a speck on your shoulder, a pebble you send off with a kick of your shoe."

"You are the poison. I am the antidote. Together we are in conflict, together we are in perfect union."

so beautifully written by John.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
2:29 am

Sunday, February 08, 2009

hope is lost when it becomes dispensable to one party. so hope's still with you:)

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love you like a sister;
7:21 pm

Thursday, February 05, 2009

how do you conquer big things when you can't even solve small problems?

anyway recently, i've been getting some inspiration and motivation from my angmoh lecturers. my marketing lecturer sees everything in a very philosophical way it's rather interesting and my strict accounting lecturer who calls himself evil. i can tell that he's willing to help his students and that under that tough exterior there's someone warm inside. but he likes to trick people with his words. the other day we stayed back to do this group graded assignment and asked him for help, after he replied i made him swear that he's not tricking us. haha. it's heartwarming when you manage to break that tough exterior and see the warm side of a person. it made him appear more human. he even stopped to tell us a bit about himself back when he was taking accounting.

oh and my english class, i was kind of nervous at first to present my research outline because everyone was like shot with questions from the class and my teacher. luckily, my teacher liked the idea and my classmates were into it as well. they even helped me refined my question. so i'm all the more motivated to do it well. another classmate wanted to do that but he didn't have the confidence to write about it so lucky for me. and this research paper is to be worked on throughout the whole sem and it has to be 10 pages so that's why it has to be something that can hold our interest.

learning is truly enriching. i think i enjoy learning. now i'm sounding damn nerdy haha.

and douya and hh thanks for making my day in such a retarded way!

Labels:

love you like a sister;
1:19 am

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

it was the first time and the last time. it happened all in an instant.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
1:10 am

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

oh wow sorry i don't think it made my life better or help me if that's what it's supposed to be.

firstly, i can't afford it and you knew it but you promoted them to me. i end up in debts and obviously do you even care that it ate up my savings. NO? sorry to say it didnt work and if i require a bigger quantity for it to work then obviously i've already been drained out of money. money was your priority, my financial situation was never a concern for you. so on what terms do i have to listen to someone talk about any of it when he's just out to earn money from me. it's people like you that gives the whole thing a bad name. exploiting trust and love without a conscience.

secondly, i don't need somebody trying to act friends with me and pretending to be all concerned and at the same time subtly defensive. i can differentiate ppl who really want to help or care and ppl who only appear like they want to help and then disappear with their so called "concern". rude one moment, smiley faces the next. either crazy or bipolar. maybe i can pardon for these reasons. and fyi, i have to present both sides anyway so don't have to get defensive. and worse still, don't try to act like you want to help me with my essay.

thirdly, i don't trust people who lie to me consecutively as though it's damn fun.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
5:58 pm

"ironically, their instinctive prey usually comprises of friends, relatives and family - the people they really care and love for. sad but true, it drives human greed to even betray one's own morals and ethics."

if you guys have time, do read all of this:
http://www.richardseah.com/news/mlm-1.html

http://www.articledashboard.com/Article/The-truth-that-most-MLM-leaders-in-Singapore--Malaysia--Thailand-and-everywhere-else-are-NOT-revealing-to-their-downlines-/21062

there are just too many research and non-research articles and experiences shared to be linked here. it has been an eye-opener.

my dear friends, i hope none of us will ever be a part of it. and ironically, i must say it has given me inspiration for my research topic for english. i think i cld really channel some negative energy there. but one thing for sure, i was trapped in deception inside out. to be totally deceived by a person who may have been just deceiving himself. or maybe he doesn't think so. i have been moritfied by how every single bit just sounds so damn familiar it practically screams one name. i'm glad i'm out of it. i can finally heave a sigh of relief.

Labels:

love you like a sister;
12:02 am

Sunday, February 01, 2009

omg you're so whatever. it's so disgusting it's giving me chicken skin. ewww! seriously. wtf. you're so cheap.

and to you who probably wouldn't read this, i want to be there for you if you allow me to. even if you don't trust the others, trust in me. i wish you would and not keep things to yourself. i really want the best for you and i know how shit happens. it happens to me all the time i'm so used to it.

i could really use some vulgarities right now but nvm it's really not worth it at all.

and for the previous entry, i must say it's a lovely song with lyrics that totally touch me. and just because of that song, those beautiful lines that mean so much to me, i've decided not to be asexual afterall :)

Labels:

love you like a sister;
1:30 am